


Chakotay's Shield

by mandykaysfic



Series: 12 days of Christmas 2016 [1]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Interlude, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 03:24:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9104524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandykaysfic/pseuds/mandykaysfic
Summary: Chakotay muses as he gets ready for dinner with Tom.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for lj's 12 days of Christmas 2016.
> 
> On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
>  _one protective shield_
> 
> Follows "I Know How I Feel About You" from 12 Days of Christmas 2105

Chakotay stared at his reflection. He combed his hair forward for the third time and almost immediately combed it back again into its usual style. Resolutely, he placed the comb into the bathroom cabinet and closed the door. It was a simple dinner with Tom, he told himself, not a date.

He pondered the likelihood of a real date featuring in his future as he sprayed cologne on his chest. The woodsy fragrance reminded him of home, even though he'd bought it on a planet here in the Delta Quadrant. He wondered if Tom would like it, then pushed that thought firmly to the back of his mind while he considered the shirt he'd decided to wear.

Was the black linen with the thin grey pinstripe too formal? It was if buttoned up, but when he undid the top two buttons and rolled up the sleeves, it projected a more casual look. Casual was definitely better. He pulled on a pair of grey pants, frowned thoughtfully, then swapped them for a black pair. He studied the new combination and sighed. Too much black? He vacillated between the grey and the black for several minutes. A memory of his eldest sister trying to decide what to wear on her first date with the man she eventually married popped into his mind. She'd been torn between a long crimson-colored dress that swirled around her ankles when she walked, and something blue; trousers, he thought, although he wasn't exactly sure anymore. He did, however, remember she'd worn the dress. He went with the black pants and shirt, and wondered what Tom would wear.

Mental images of Tom dressed in blue, in white, in brown and nothing at all popped like bubbles when the computer's voice reminded Chakotay he had ten minutes remaining before he was due at Tom's quarters. Thankfully, there was no further decision making involved in putting on the black socks and black shoes he'd already laid out. He was ready.

As was his habit, Chakotay paused at the door and took a second or two to make sure his mental shields were firmly in place. The two years he'd spent with his mother's second cousin getting his 'gift' under control had been worth it, and twenty-five years later, he still followed Lonato's teachings. To this day however, he never referred to the uncontrollable transmission of his emotions to whomever he made skin contact as a gift.

He'd been twelve years old when it first manifested. Within six months, he'd refused to leave his room. His parents had been mortified after he'd upset a number of the elders when they learned Chakotay's inner thoughts did not match his spoken words. It had been taken for granted he would follow in his father's footsteps and eventually head the council, and to that view, they'd invested considerable time in his early training. Those who'd been on the receiving end of Chakotay's true feelings were not convinced he could be taught the error of his ways.

The opinions of the elders hadn't particularly upset Chakotay; it was the teasing by his school mates that caused the deepest wounds. Wrestling matches revealed which of them he'd thought stupid. A friendly back slap had given away the identity of his secret crush. Disgust, embarrassment, fear, joy - they felt whatever he did whenever they came into contact and to his everlasting horror, spoke of them to all who'd listen. Their game of 'Touch and Tell' had almost broken him.

Lonato's training never completely erased the intense dislike Chakotay had for sharing his emotions, and he knew he'd find it a challenge to deliberately lower his shields to let Tom learn about the man once dubbed the 'Wooden Indian' by his colleagues in Starfleet.

* * *

Several hours later, Chakotay found himself smiling the whole way back to his quarters. Dinner had been...purple. Almost the same shade as Tom's shirt. Tom admitted being out of replicator rations and he'd inveigled Neelix into providing something special for dinner; he should have simply picked up portions of the regular menu, a potato stew they both enjoyed. They talked as they ate, distracting themselves from the odd flavor. They swapped details of the best and worst meals they'd encountered before Voyager. Tales of replicator mishaps segued into holoprograms, then this, then that. It turned out, they had quite a lot in common.

Tom gesticulated, wildly at times as he made a point, but at no time did he touch Chakotay. Nor did the conversation turn to anybody's emotions. The questions he feared never eventuated, this time. He wondered how long Tom would wait before asking. They'd made a date for three days hence. Maybe he'd grasp the phaser and bring the subject up first. It was something to sleep on.

END


End file.
